When I got engaged in 2009 I posted the picture of me and Ramakrishna on Orkut, I remember being so happy for us, after all it was a big deal as we had never thought we would get our parents' approval let alone getting engaged :P... People congratulated me, it seemed that my friends were happy for me... :) But I distinctly remember one of my "friends" commenting on the picture, "YOU also got engaged???!!!! :O "... When I think of that now I feel like laughing out loud, but at that time that comment hurt me a lot, I don't know why, but it did... It was as if this person didn't think that I was worthy of getting engaged, or falling in love, or finding love for that matter... Thinking back, maybe it has something to do with me not having the "right looks" while I was growing up...
My childhood was according to me the best one a girl could ask for... I had and have an extremely supportive family... I can say that I was quite free to be who I wanted to be... So I was this tomboy who almost never gave a damn about what anybody would say about her... But I would be lying if I said that it never bothered me when people made fun of me for the way I looked... The comments would be mostly about my weight, like, a playful "fatso!! or moti!!" to "If you lose weight I would marry you!!" to "Oh my god!! How much do you weigh??", then about my eyebrows, like, "you look like Changez Khan!!", or my nose like "You have a flat nose!!" or "Your nose looks like a pakoda!! or a samosa!!" Lol... Once a close friend of my parents' told me (when I was 17 years old) that I looked as old as my father's sister not at all like his daughter and if I did not pay attention to my looks I would not get a decent groom... The list goes on, and whatever I do I could never forget these remarks/suggestions and advises/taunts... In a way even after having the coolest parents, I had a hard time growing up... But the fun part about having a family such as mine was that I always knew that they had my back, that they loved me no matter what and I didn't need to prove anything to the rest of the world...
So when I set out in pursuit of true love, I knew what I was looking for... I had promised myself that I will not change myself for an unworthy, undeserving guy... If I ever fall in love it will be with someone who appreciates me for the person I am, who doesn't tell me to dress up for him, who doesn't ask me to change my ways... It all sounds pretty idealistic but it is true and I think I am one of the lucky few who found exactly the person she was looking for... I was never a fan of the literary and fantastical love at first sight scenario, how can I be, when all my life I have been told that I don't score enough in the "right looks" department... So it was not a "love-at-first-sight" for us, it was more of a "love-at-a-gradual-pace" for us... :P and for that one thing I am grateful to god...
Now when I look back to all that has been said and done and to the person that I am now, I do not regret anything... Really!! All those taunts and friendly or unfriendly remarks, taught me to rebel and made me the person I am today... And to tell you the truth, even though I did care a little then, I certainly don't care now and I definitely won't care in the future... I think its all because I was blessed to have the kind of family that I had and have... :)
Recently I was going through an article that explained how children have body image issues from an age as early as 6 years... It was heartbreaking and that's what triggered me into writing this article... So to those people who have teen-aged girls and boys at home with body image issues, I would just say what my mother said to me when I was 14 years old, "At this age you would get attracted to the opposite sex for all the wrong reasons, but it will take you a long time to find that one person who would be attracted to all the right reasons in you!! It is important to know who you are and what your priorities are and sticking to them, no matter what!! It is important that you know that the right person will never ask you to change yourselves for them... :) "
I think what I am trying to imply is that it is essential that we support our children in every way possible, to let them know that they are worthy of love, no matter how they look, or what they wear, or how they speak, or how they walk... It is important that they know that we've got their back... :) To let them know that there are no "right or wrong looks", there are just people, while some are right... Some others maybe wrong... But we should never judge them based on their "looks"... :)
My childhood was according to me the best one a girl could ask for... I had and have an extremely supportive family... I can say that I was quite free to be who I wanted to be... So I was this tomboy who almost never gave a damn about what anybody would say about her... But I would be lying if I said that it never bothered me when people made fun of me for the way I looked... The comments would be mostly about my weight, like, a playful "fatso!! or moti!!" to "If you lose weight I would marry you!!" to "Oh my god!! How much do you weigh??", then about my eyebrows, like, "you look like Changez Khan!!", or my nose like "You have a flat nose!!" or "Your nose looks like a pakoda!! or a samosa!!" Lol... Once a close friend of my parents' told me (when I was 17 years old) that I looked as old as my father's sister not at all like his daughter and if I did not pay attention to my looks I would not get a decent groom... The list goes on, and whatever I do I could never forget these remarks/suggestions and advises/taunts... In a way even after having the coolest parents, I had a hard time growing up... But the fun part about having a family such as mine was that I always knew that they had my back, that they loved me no matter what and I didn't need to prove anything to the rest of the world...
So when I set out in pursuit of true love, I knew what I was looking for... I had promised myself that I will not change myself for an unworthy, undeserving guy... If I ever fall in love it will be with someone who appreciates me for the person I am, who doesn't tell me to dress up for him, who doesn't ask me to change my ways... It all sounds pretty idealistic but it is true and I think I am one of the lucky few who found exactly the person she was looking for... I was never a fan of the literary and fantastical love at first sight scenario, how can I be, when all my life I have been told that I don't score enough in the "right looks" department... So it was not a "love-at-first-sight" for us, it was more of a "love-at-a-gradual-pace" for us... :P and for that one thing I am grateful to god...
Now when I look back to all that has been said and done and to the person that I am now, I do not regret anything... Really!! All those taunts and friendly or unfriendly remarks, taught me to rebel and made me the person I am today... And to tell you the truth, even though I did care a little then, I certainly don't care now and I definitely won't care in the future... I think its all because I was blessed to have the kind of family that I had and have... :)
Recently I was going through an article that explained how children have body image issues from an age as early as 6 years... It was heartbreaking and that's what triggered me into writing this article... So to those people who have teen-aged girls and boys at home with body image issues, I would just say what my mother said to me when I was 14 years old, "At this age you would get attracted to the opposite sex for all the wrong reasons, but it will take you a long time to find that one person who would be attracted to all the right reasons in you!! It is important to know who you are and what your priorities are and sticking to them, no matter what!! It is important that you know that the right person will never ask you to change yourselves for them... :) "
I think what I am trying to imply is that it is essential that we support our children in every way possible, to let them know that they are worthy of love, no matter how they look, or what they wear, or how they speak, or how they walk... It is important that they know that we've got their back... :) To let them know that there are no "right or wrong looks", there are just people, while some are right... Some others maybe wrong... But we should never judge them based on their "looks"... :)
